Mothers’ group
Posted by: regalmok on: June 29, 2009
I was overjoyed to find a mothers’ group at my church. I searched high and low for parenting classes in Kuching but contrary to Sibu where these courses are widely available, we do not have many choices here. So I waited eagerly for Wednesday morning and towed along my sleepy son, his essentials and my stuff to the gathering. Like a Christmas tree burdened with excessive decorative ornaments, we headed to the church.
It was a joy to meet so many friendly mothers who are willing to share their experiences with me. I was greatly comforted to know that they went through the same ordeal and survived! It was a challenge to meet busy mothers who still put God first. I have no excuse not to! And it was a cleansing process where I could share my struggles and know that I was understood.
What blessing and joy!
How my days look like
Posted by: regalmok on: June 15, 2009
My baby is 5 months old today! I could never imagine that I can live like this previously, revolving around a tiny human being. Mothering is a difficult job, but oh so rewarding!
Below is a snippet of what my daily life looks like. Baby’s feeding and sleeping times are quite erratic still, but the following is very close to what happen everyday:
7.45am Baby wakes up; bath; feeding (~5 oz, he takes ~4 oz each feeding for the rest of the day)
9.15am Baby sleeps; pumping; breakfast; clean up myself; laundry & house chores; exercise for 20 minutes
10.30am Baby wakes up; feeding; play with baby until he’s sleepy (normally around 1 hr)
11.30am Baby sleeps; wash and sterilise bottles; more house chores
1.00pm Baby wakes up; feeding; play with baby; lunch (if husband is back. If not, lunch is any time baby sleeps)
2.00pm Baby sleeps; pumping; cleaning up the dishes
3.00pm Baby wakes up; feeding; play with baby
4.00pm Baby sleeps; more house chores; nap if possible
5.00pm Baby wakes up; feeding; play with baby
6.00pm Baby sleeps; pumping; wash & sterilise bottles
7.00pm Dinner
7.30pm Baby wakes up; feeding; play with baby
9.30pm Top up 2-4 oz before baby settles for the night
10.30pm Pumping
11.00pm Baby sleeps; wash and sterilise bottles & pumps; finally, sweet respite!
5.00am Pumping; catch up sleep before baby wakes up
Updating my blog, reading, playing the guitar, things that I enjoy tremendously, can only be done if baby sleeps extra long that day. If not, I have to cut corners or sacrifice sleep. So, this is motherhood to you! Enjoy your day!
Forever young
Posted by: regalmok on: June 10, 2009
Of course nobody can stay forever young but there are ways to live a healthy life and look younger than your actual age. One is to be an Asian (we Asians are blessed with youthful looks, ask your non-Asian friends if you don’t believe me). That, and your firming eye gel, soothing booster, hydrating moisturiser, masques etc aside, here are a few guidelines that I strongly believe in:
1. Eat a healthy and balanced diet
I do not have problem cutting down processed food like white bread, cakes, sweets, ice cream. But I have an affinity to fried and oily food since young. Nasi lemak (rice cooked in coconut milk), fried chicken, roti canai/phratta, pisang goreng (fried banana), french fries were my favourite food. I’m glad that I seldom take them now, and if I do, only in moderation. I learn to make wholegrain, vege and fruits my daily staples. Believe me, I feel so good and energetic! I’m even more at peace with myself because I’m feeding my body the right stuff.
2. Exercise
I’m striving to exercise 3 times a week, 20 minutes each time at 150 pulse rate. To calculate the optimal pulse rate, use this formula: (220 – your age) x 0.8
3. Read the Bible and pray
After the baby is born, I read the Bible on and off. I’m currently at Isaiah and my church is reading Jeremiah. It’s difficult for me to sit down and read, so I’ll play it on MP3. No more excuses!
4. Keep a journal of gratitude
It’s easy to dwell on the negatives in life, listing down the blessings in one’s life can put it into perspective. If I have it my way, I can grumble and complain about the smallest things eg baby not sleeping, baby not taking milk, so much work, hot weather, noisy dogs, leaking roof.. not exactly the nicest person to be around. So I’ll limit myself to voicing only 3 negatives a day, and say more positive things.
***
If all fails, well, there’s always botox! Cheers!
Journal of gratitude 9/6/09
Posted by: regalmok on: June 9, 2009
1. I am thankful for a smiley and happy baby.
Hua Zhe rarely cries and seldom fusses. He is easy to be around at home. Outside the nest, he is exemplary (even more so if compare to his parents who cannot stop eyeing him and cooing to him) by participating in the Sunday Service and CG meetings reasonably quietly. I must unabashedly say that most people comment how well behaved he is. Took after his mother most certainly 
2. I am thankful that I can still provide nourishment to Hua Zhe in the form of breast milk.
Reflecting back on the uncertain early days before I encountered an Exclusively Pumping forum, I was never sure when my milk supply would dry up. To make it to this point (my son will be 5 months old next Monday) is an accomplishment and a miracle to me. I am grateful for the best possible start that I can afford my child.
Mini goals
Posted by: regalmok on: May 29, 2009
It’s easy to revolve one’s life around a chubby, toothless and smiley baby. After Hua Zhe turned 4 months old, I finally found some time on my hands. Updating my blog, oh yes. Getting a hair cut, absolutely. (So pathetic, sigh.)
I set mini goals for myself everyday so that time is well utilised. They are nothing to brag about but they make sure that I am kept busy and happy. For instance, my goals yesterday were to sweep and mop the house so that my CG friends can gather here today. And I’m pleased to inform you that I even did the laundry and cleaned up the kitchen sink! (So pathetic, sigh again.)
My other mini goals are like visiting friends (which I did a few days back with Hua Zhe), exercising, reading a good book, cooking, getting a facial etc.
What is my mini goal today. Well, today I have decided to laze around, open a bag of chips and watch TV. Well, I earned it, no? Have fun today, my friends 
Journal of gratitude 21/5/09
Posted by: regalmok on: May 21, 2009
I am grateful for my family – my loving and very supportive husband, and also our 4-month-old son. They are the love of my life.
有关友情。。
Posted by: regalmok on: May 19, 2009
到了我这个生活阶段，好朋友真的是可遇不可求。为了工作营营役役，然后又为孩子做牛做马，接触的人不多，更谈不上交个知心的朋友。在教会里，和我们差不多年龄的也有一些，但有了孩子后各忙各的，鲜少见面。一对和我们比较相熟的夫妻下个月就要搬到吉隆坡去了。哎，又少了两个朋友，可悲啊！可幸的是，有些朋友就算不常联络依然在心里有着特别的位子。中学，大学，少年时期教会的朋友尤是。
近期遇到一些使人不快的人和事，让我感叹真心朋友难寻。莫老爷常说我对人标准过高，难道在此时此刻还想要有生死与共的朋友乎？不需要生死与共，但基本的关心不会要求太苛刻吧。
罢了罢了，友情，不可强求。我尽管做一个可令人相交的朋友，其他的就听天由命吧！
Ouch
Posted by: regalmok on: May 14, 2009
- In: Kids
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We are bringing Hua Zhe for his 4th month check-up and pneumococcal vaccination tomorrow. As with previous jabs, I am all nervous inside. Hua Zhe was fussy everytime after his vaccination. He would cry easily, not sleep well and be grumpy for a day after. And hearing people mentioning the link between mercury in vaccines, MMR and autism, often in one breath, does not make me breathe easier. Even though studies do not show any link between vaccines and autism but I am still very concerned. What if the damage is only discovered years down the road, like thalidomide*?
*Thalidomide was used as a tranquiliser and painkiller. It also has an inhibitory effect on morning sickness. Many pregnant women took this drug to relieve their symptoms. More than 10,000 children with severe birth defects were born in the 50’s and 60’s as a result of the drug.
母子同心
Posted by: regalmok on: May 13, 2009
- In: Kids| Parenting
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华哲在诞生两个月时，我就发觉到他对我的情绪很敏感。我在产后两个月情绪都不甚稳定，虽然人前强逼自己保持笑脸，但背地里却常常自怜自艾，又不时落泪。荷尔蒙作祟啊！
有次为华哲喂奶时，心情恰好不是很漂亮，所以没有像平时般愉快地和他说话。他也收起了平常的笑颜，一双大大的眼睛盯着我动也不动，似乎也感受到我低落的心情。
昨晚喂奶时睏极不时打呵欠，眼泪也不受控制地向下流。华哲睁着眼睛看着我好几分钟，然后突然嚎啕大哭起来。他从来都是一个很快乐，随和的小孩，鲜少哭闹，所以我吓了一大跳，连忙抱着他加以安慰。在继续喂奶时，我还是一副“泪汪汪”的样子，他又扁着嘴要哭了出来。我急忙抱着他，告诉他“妈咪没事”，让他看我的笑脸，他才安静下来。
别说小孩不懂事，就连一个不满四个月的幼儿都能粗略地感受到他人的情绪。我到现在都还记得父母在我幼时所说的一些话。他们可能以为孩子小不懂事，但我都懂，也感受得到母亲心里的沉重。母子连心，你是否有同样的经验？
I promise..
Posted by: regalmok on: May 12, 2009
- In: Kids| Parenting
- 2 Comments
Since Hua Zhe’s birth, I pretty much was thrown into (rough) uncharted waters, with very little know-how, learning as I go. Being a first-time mom, I have much fears and uncertainties, but what I am sure are these:
1. I will be a good role model for my child – After becoming a mother, I am surprised to discover in myself resilience, stamina and dedication. Parenthood makes me a stronger and better person. I understand truly well that respect is earned, and I will continue to be someone my child can look up to and emulate.
2. I will lead a balanced life – I will take courses. Go shopping. Meet up with friends. Exercise. My child deserves a happy and healthy mom!
3. I will discipline my child gently - being a recipient (I don’t want to use the word ‘victim’) of physical punishment in my childhood, I seriously doubt the benefits of such discipline method. I still can not recall what I did wrong when I was punished and all I felt was rejection. This can not be the best way to correct a child!
4. I will put my child’s interests before mine – In concrete terms, I will spend time with him even though I am busy. I will save money now so that he can have the best education. I will stay at home to raise him at least for the first few critical years. I will continously strive to become a better mother.
You have my word.
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