He ain’t heavy, he’s my baby

Not long after I gave birth to Hua Zhe, a midwife in her 60’s advised me “not to carry your baby too much, he’ll get used to it and comes to expect it”.

Then, an experienced operator of a child care centre said similar thing, “Don’t carry your son too much. Leave him in the cot except when you change diapers and feed him.”

My mother-in-law also imparted her words of wisdom, “Adults’ bodies are very ”heaty’, don’t carry the baby too much. Also, you’ll spoil him and he’ll expect you to carry him all the time.”

Dear aunty, uncle and Mama, SORRY because I am a rebellious person. I carry the baby almost all the time during his waking hours and only put him in the cot when he sleeps. Yes yes, I know I won’t have much time for other things. I know he’ll want me to carry him always. But I believe that carrying the baby creates bonding and instills sense of security.

So what about other work at home and my hobbies? I guess I just have to include the baby in all these. It’s unrealistic to expect the same life after his birth, no?

Look how I’ve grown!

My first day of life

Hello everybody

One week old

I'm so shy

One month old

With my favourite gal

Two months old

So I am cute

Breastfeeding? Help!

“Are you breastfeeding your baby?”

A simple question that has no simple answer.

I bottlefeed my baby with breastmilk. Full time. I pump at least 7 times a day around the clock to maintain my milk supply and feed my baby in bottle. With artificial nipples. There you have it.

Why do I not breastfeed my baby directly? Let me bring you back to a stormy and fateful night almost 9 weeks ago…

Zhe Zhe was admitted into hospital for severe jaundice on his 5th day of life. The doctor recommended us to feed him more as he would be dehydrated and breastmilk would help him get rid of the excess bilirubin. But we are not supposed to interfere with his treatment for more than 30 minutes at a time. The nurses suggested to feed him formula to save time as I routinely took 1 hour per feeding. We decided to go for breast milk in bottle. Little did I know that it would cause so much problems later on.

As Zhe Zhe was severely jaundiced even after discharge. I expressed milk and fed as much as he could stomach. Trouble started to surfaced when I put him to the breast and found him having problem suckling. He would wail and struggle and utterly refuse the breasts. After successfully reintroducing the breasts to him, he was unable to be satiated solely by breastfeeding. He would loudly demand expressed milk after hours of breastfeeding session (Yes, it took at least an hour+ for us. The highest record is 3 hours at a stretch).

Breastfeeding was a torturing experience for both of us. It was stressful and tiring.

Nipple confusion? Flow preference? I found out about these first hand.

Even though Zhe Zhe is still taking breast milk but milk expression, cleaning and sterilisation are very time consuming and tiring. I often dozed off expressing milk after baby’s night feeding. When I first started expressing milk, it was not uncommon to spend 1 hour plus at the pump. Even now, it takes me 30-60 minutes to do the same. Times that with 7 or 8 and there goes my precious time. Now you know why I did not update my blog regularly..

I am deeply convinced of benefits offered by breast milk but I fear that I would give up prematurely with so much time and effort involved. Please, would someone show me how to breastfeed my baby directly?

Good morning, Mommy!

What better way to start your day than seeing these cherubic smiles?