EP

Before today, I often felt like a second-class mother.

I embraced breastfeeding wholeheartedly when my baby was born. Cracked nipples, painful engorgement, wakeful nights, leaking “taps” do not deter me, no way! But things did not go as planned and I could not breastfeed Zhe Zhe directly because of nipple confusion (see my previous posting on his hospital admission). Determined to let my child have the best, I resorted to pumping – 10-12x a day initially, 1 1/2-2 hours once, for the first 7 weeks – and fed my milk in bottles.

I did not know of anyone doing what I did. I am not breastfeeding (as in directly) but I am not feeding my kid formula. I am in a whole different class.

I grieve on the loss of my breastfeeding relationship, however traumatic it was to us. I grieve on the loss of spontaneity, intimacy and countless psychological and physiological benefits breastfeeding offers. I feel guilty that I am not offering the BEST for my child. I feel isolated and very sad.

On the other hand, my family members do not understand why I won’t just “feed the baby formula” (none in my family ever breastfeed solely). Exclusive pumping is a herculan task, requiring lots of time, effort and dedication which is simply “not worth it”.

For me, I always worried that my milk would not last for 6 months (which is the minimum period I hope to breastfeed <I’m using the term loosely here> my baby). My friends would tell me that “milk supply will decrease with exclusive pumping”, “you need to latch your baby to maintain your milk supply” (but he would want nothing to do with that, how?!). Nobody could tell me if milk supply would increase with pumping alone. I had many doubts that any fluctuations in my milk would set me into panic mode.

But today I found out that there are many EP (exclusively-pumping) mothers out there! And they had successfully feed their babies human milk solely for more than a year! Imagine my joy! I am encouraged and enlightened after reading their experiences. I feel confident to continue my journey now, it is a true blessing to know that I am not alone!

Note:

For those who are curious, I feed my baby breast milk solely. I started pumping since he was admitted into hospital. My milk supply increased significantly after 6 weeks postpartum. Before that, I had to supplement him with formula (only as a last resort) but breast milk consistently made up 90-95% of feeding. After the 6th week, I have more than enough milk for my baby and he is only taking human milk and growing wonderfully! (Errr, anyone know where I can donate my milk?)

Yes, breast milk can increase with pumping alone.

Yes, it is possible to feed your babies breast milk solely even with pumping.

Yes, mothers enjoy the benefits of breastfeeding with exclusive pumping too! (I am very near to my pre-pregnancy weight and am still enjoying delayed menstruation, and other benefits eg protection from osteoporosis, some cancers etc.)

Refrigerated and frozen milk is still better than formula, but try to feed the baby fresh milk whenever possible.

Useful link: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bf-links-excpumping.html