常常有人这样对我说，“哇，你的孩子好可爱啊！”或是”Such a pretty baby!” 又或是，“长大了一定很英俊！”让我这做娘的心里不禁暗爽~~他们冷不防却杀出这样一句话，“长得比较像爸爸hor…”
呜，还以为孩子可爱是因为我的优良因子呢。阿Q一下，妈妈虽然不是长得沉鱼落雁，国色天香，倾国倾城，但也算五官端正。你说是不是 hor?
靓妈与宝贝
天上来的礼物 August 22, 2009
最近一位会友的儿子因癌症去世了。身为一位母亲，我能够体会他们心里的痛和不舍。如果哲哲不幸患病，我也会痛不欲生的。
还在大学求学及工作时，我常常接触特殊儿童。自闭症，脑性麻痹，过动，唐式儿，发展迟缓，智力停顿等等，让我对生小孩有十分的恐惧感。怀有哲哲时，几乎所有能做，需要，或不太需要的检验我都向医生主动要求。孩子出生后我密切注意他的发展，害怕但希望及早发现他任何的异常，可以尽快需求医治。
到目前为止，哲哲似乎是一位正常的小孩。我心里非常的感恩，但还是有一丝身为母亲的危机感。我真的那么幸运，能有一位健康，正常的小孩？会不会因为太幸福而招天忌，有灾难降临？是的，我是一个消极的人。。而且想象力过度丰富。。
因为我知道正常的小孩不是理所当然的，所以我非常珍惜我的孩子。我要把最好的给他。这并不是指物质的享受，或情感上的溺爱。
小孩当然需要跌倒。但我的责任是在他遇到挫折时提供他一个温暖的港湾以及向前走的动力。
他需要知道金钱得来不易，更重要的是，金钱不是一切。所以我的责任是引导他成为金钱以及所有资源的好管家。
他需要父母无私的爱，每日的拥抱和鼓励的话语。但他也需要知道界限及担当。
孩子每天的成长都予我不同的惊喜。一瞬眼间，他竟然会坐了，接着爬，然后自己站。从起初无助的婴孩到现在竟然听得懂我们部分的说话。这真是不可思议的能力啊！这个小小的人儿，脑子里每天想着的是什么啊？他虽然个子小，但和我一样是个人，拥有他不可侵犯的人权，配得我的尊敬。所以我不会以体罚或辱骂来羞辱他。
孩子啊，妈妈的愿望就是你成为一个快乐，身心灵健康，活出上帝荣耀的人。你不需要成为什么“师”，就做自己吧。
妈妈的礼物
Clogs oh clogs August 19, 2009
My pumping career (ceh wah) was smooth for the first 5 months plus. I pumped and milk flowed, as simple as that. Well, of course there are always inconveniences and hindrances. It sometimes took me 60 minutes or more to express milk; I have backaches from hunching over the bottles; finding time to pump and pumping on schedule are always a challenge; the sense of guilt resulting from my inability to entertain the baby while pumping is yet another issue. But all in all, pumping was quite straight forward.
From the 5th month onwards, I have been having clogs almost on a weekly basis. The affected breast would swell and harden to the extent that it hurt, to put it mildly. Not being aware of your breast is a blessing, trust me. I could barely function with a painful and tender rock on my chest. I could not carry my baby, change his diapers or in fact, anything that involved my right upper body.
The pain would be bearable if there was a definite duration of suffering but I could never be sure when relief would come.. Sometimes it only took a few hours but sometimes it took much longer. Massage, heat compress, suction, very hot shower.. nothing worked!
Whenever that happened, my first thought was to quit pumping. My goal was to feed my baby breast milk for 6 months which I already achieved. Why the stubbornness? My husband urged me to wean him of breast milk anyway, right? But when the plugs came spraying out, I was refilled with ooomph to go on pumping.. until the next clog, that is.
I am lucky to not suffer from clogs for the last 2 weeks but there is now a big lump in my right you-know-where. Though it affects the milk supply, it is not painful. So I’ll not fret nor would I think about it . Continue pumping I shall!
谈睡觉 August 11, 2009
我不晓得其他的婴孩是如何，但华哲呢白天似乎不怎么需要睡眠。可能晚上睡饱了，他现在白天大概睡3-4次。幸运的话会睡近1小时，不幸的话只会养神20-30分钟。醒着的时候做啥？折磨他的娘。要他娘陪他玩，抱着他四处走，唱歌给他听。。所以这个妈妈已蜕变成千手妈妈了。在短短宝贵的20-60分钟内要扫地，晒衣，洗碗，挤奶，洗奶瓶，折衣，浇花，烹煮，养狗不等，还没有写部落格，吃午餐，上厕所呢。怪不得妈妈晚上9点就变成熊猫眼。
华哲睡觉的时间是我唯一能做些事的时候，所以我千方百计要他睡久些。当他开始翻来覆去或是叫人时，我马上就会飞身扑到他身边拍拍他，并且闭起眼睛假睡。希望能够蒙骗到他，他乖乖地再睡个30分钟。
有时候他睡觉时也会练习翻身。翻了一翻，结果把自己吵醒。所以当我看到他要大显身手时，我就会再施展我的神功，马上潜到他身边，然后拼了老命压着他 （用手，不是用我的水桶身体），不让他翻。运气好的话，hooray，赚到30分钟！我可以看一下报纸，甚至喝杯decaf咖啡，吃片蛋糕！写部落格！看书！真是人生一大享受啊！
成为妈妈后，我学会了时间管理和以优先次序处理事情。现在的我，不是我自夸，身手敏捷，短短的时间能够完成许多的事。秘诀就在于：multitasking, prioritising, organising, planning ahead. 怪不得曾经看过一个妈妈这么对他的面试者（interviewer）说，“你应该聘请我，因为我是一名妈妈。我有你需要的管理和沟通能力。”真是说得太好了！
不可叫人小看你年轻 August 8, 2009
事情是这样开始的。
有一天，我把孩子的奶放到bottle warmer 里去加温。在等候的当儿我心不在焉地对正玩着的孩子说，“等ti-ti 就可以喝奶了。”没想到他转头望向bottle warmer 然后很热切地盯着它直到奶好为止。那时我第一次觉得孩子可能听得懂我的说话。后来也发生好几次同样的事，所以我很肯定他明白什么是“ti-ti”。
昨晚临睡前，我问孩子还要“奶奶”吗？他转过头一把抓起他的奶瓶然后往嘴里塞，令我看傻了眼。
而今天呢，孩子飞舞的手狠狠地打中我的脸。我拿着他的手要他傻羊（傻羊，sayang也）妈咪。示范了两次，当我要他傻羊时，他竟然会用手向我的脸挥舞几次。巧合？
从孩子平常的反应，我想他大概也明白其他我们常用的词汇如“站站”，“坐坐”，“等一下”，“抱抱”，“冲凉” 。真不敢小看小婴孩，他们学习真的是一日千里啊！
我学习着呐！
Mommy, I can stand! August 7, 2009
Hua Zhe smiles and is very pleased with himself whenever he masters a new skill. His smile is so adorable and infectious that it seemingly clears up the haze in the city I live in.
He can pull up and stand on his own now. Here’s him grinning, showing off his new skill. Such a cutie!
First time mommy August 7, 2009
I chuckled when I read a blog by a mother with 3 kids. She recalled her experience becoming a mother for the first time: sterilised all things, wiped all toys, introduced solid after 6 months to the day etc. Years later, she got a hang of parenting and became the experienced (ie nonchalant, laid-back) mother that she marveled about.
You know what, the first-time mommy who followed the experts’ advice to the dot – that was ME!
I read up all parenting books that I can lay my hands on. I am the mother with the youngest child in the mothers’ group (the group leader did not even invite me for God’s sake, I called her up and attended the meetings without shame). I follow the recommended schedule of introductory food strictly. I play, sing, feed and carry my son during his entire waking hours. I learn and eagerly apply activities that will supposedly develop his potentials. In short, I do not have a life, my life revolves around my son!
In years to come, I might look back and have a good laugh at myself. But now, I feel satisfied and grateful for being entrusted this task of mothering. I am going to do my best and take the journey of becoming a better mother. However nonchalant and laid-back I may turn out to be.
